Pedestrian Parallax

Because I haven’t done a “5 things” in a really long time.

1. I taught a lesson to a class of fourth-graders who had more questions than any class I’ve ever encountered. They managed to totally stump me. Their teacher told me afterward that this is pretty much a daily occurrence.

2. There is apparently some sort of power struggle between the PTA moms. I managed to unknowingly get tangled up in it. Sorry, PTA moms!

3. At lunch duty, there is one class that always has a lot of drama (arguments, crying, tantrums), so they always get some extra attention from me. Today they called me over to tell me that another lunch duty person was “snappy” to them, which one girl helpfully translated as, “That means she was mean!” Then one girl said, “Can you change her up a little?” I didn’t know how to respond, so I asked her if I should use a magic wand. They laughed and said, “No, tell the principal to send that lady to a class on how to be nice!”

4. A Muslim boy was crying at lunchtime because he didn’t realize until he sat down that his sandwich had pork in it, which is against his religion. Who thought up the idea of putting pepperoni on the turkey sandwiches anyway?! I convinced the women who work in the cafeteria to let him have some pasta instead.

5. Today is the first day since I reread Girl by Blake Nelson last week that I haven’t been thinking in those run-on sentences in which the book is written. This happened when I read it for the first time (in the 1990’s) too. I found out there’s a sequel coming soon! I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high, though, because this is an author who has disappointed me before. A sequel to Girl is going to have to be really, really good to stand up to the original.

I needed to talk to a coworker, but she only had a minute to get some books before meeting with our principal and some other people. So I followed her into the book closet so I could ask her my question rather than risk not being able to catch her later in the day. Our principal came by looking for her and was standing nearby saying, “Hello? Hello?” So my coworker yelled out, “We’re in the closet!” To which our principal replied very loudly, “Well, come out of the closet, girls!”

Once she realized what she’d said, she muttered something like, “It’s a good day for it.”

I just fell for a phishing scheme. Now I feel stupid. At least I knew enough to change my password right away. But anyhow, if I wasn’t quick enough and you see a post from me saying I have a new tumblr page, please don’t click on it.